Calling in Sick.....

Have you ever had those co-workers that called in sick and leave you with more work than you need?  Have you ever had a buddy say, "man I just don't feel like I can get out of bed to go fishing."  Playing "hooky" has always been a thing that many people do.  But of course, who wants to admit that?  Well now, I've recently discovered a medical breakthrough that can get you out of work.  Yes, this will ensure you that no disciplinary action will be taken.  And by that statement, I mean getting written up or fired.  The medical field researchers have no idea this diagnosis even existed, until now.  I bet my research on this very epidemic could be the catalyst that fuels new age medical research.  They will look beyond the normal microscope data and dive deep into the foundational anatomic build we call human beings.  On wit and common sense alone I have put countless hours into my research.  And with it, I have come up with a name.  "Anal Glaucoma."  Now you have it.  It is there.  The description is simple.  A person diagnosed with Anal Glaucoma just doesn't "see" their "ass" coming into work.  Symptoms include: fake dizziness, headaches, vomiting, diarrhea, delusions, sight issues, and fevers.  These are usually induced by: constant clubbing, smoking weed, drinking alcohol, playing COD online all night, loosing a pokemon card duel, the need to fish, hunting ducks/deer/turkey, and tax money arrival.  The treatment for "AG" is simple.  Whatever you want to do, just do it.  It is your bodies' way of telling you that work isn't important today.  It's time to enjoy yourself.  Sure you lost that 5 hour long battle online last night.  Why go to work?  You have to have a rematch, right?  So "AG" takes over, you stay home from work and finish your online rematch.  Afterwards you are refreshed and ready for work the next day.  Take it or leave it people.  Anal Glaucoma is a real thing.  Next time you call in sick, tell your boss you have been diagnosed with "AG."  I'm sure they will understand.

See what you can accomplish on a "AG" day?