Twins

Most people in this world don't realize that they have twins.  It's amazing to me that people are so different yet so much the same.  Most people believe that there is no one in the world like me.  We may share the same traits, but we are still different.  BUT, is this case, these guys break the mold.  I've always said these two guys look identical or even better, like twins.  People never believed me until now.  These guys are brothers.  TWINS dangit!  TWINS I tell ya!  Meet the Football/Music brothers.  Head coach of the Steelers, Mike Tomlin and Black Eyed Peas musician Will I Am.  If you don't believe me, look at the picture below.  Blood kin.  I rest my case.  Twinzically cool right?
 

Calling in Sick.....

Have you ever had those co-workers that called in sick and leave you with more work than you need?  Have you ever had a buddy say, "man I just don't feel like I can get out of bed to go fishing."  Playing "hooky" has always been a thing that many people do.  But of course, who wants to admit that?  Well now, I've recently discovered a medical breakthrough that can get you out of work.  Yes, this will ensure you that no disciplinary action will be taken.  And by that statement, I mean getting written up or fired.  The medical field researchers have no idea this diagnosis even existed, until now.  I bet my research on this very epidemic could be the catalyst that fuels new age medical research.  They will look beyond the normal microscope data and dive deep into the foundational anatomic build we call human beings.  On wit and common sense alone I have put countless hours into my research.  And with it, I have come up with a name.  "Anal Glaucoma."  Now you have it.  It is there.  The description is simple.  A person diagnosed with Anal Glaucoma just doesn't "see" their "ass" coming into work.  Symptoms include: fake dizziness, headaches, vomiting, diarrhea, delusions, sight issues, and fevers.  These are usually induced by: constant clubbing, smoking weed, drinking alcohol, playing COD online all night, loosing a pokemon card duel, the need to fish, hunting ducks/deer/turkey, and tax money arrival.  The treatment for "AG" is simple.  Whatever you want to do, just do it.  It is your bodies' way of telling you that work isn't important today.  It's time to enjoy yourself.  Sure you lost that 5 hour long battle online last night.  Why go to work?  You have to have a rematch, right?  So "AG" takes over, you stay home from work and finish your online rematch.  Afterwards you are refreshed and ready for work the next day.  Take it or leave it people.  Anal Glaucoma is a real thing.  Next time you call in sick, tell your boss you have been diagnosed with "AG."  I'm sure they will understand.

See what you can accomplish on a "AG" day?

The Story that Apparently Started it ALL

It was early 2013, Jake and I had just started hanging out with one of our now best friends, Emily. She has seriously became part of the family. Emily is known for her rather snappy wit and comebacks so she tends to keep us laughing. We were all hanging out at our apartment including our pup Jackson. I'm not even sure what we were doing probably just sitting around watching a movie. Jake was eating popcorn and giving pieces to Jackson. Emily sees this and tells Jake that to be careful because she has heard that popcorn can be bad for dogs' stomachs. The kernels can tear their stomachs up, she says. Jake quips back that he heard popcorn was good for dogs. He then adds popcorn is corn and corn is good for dogs. I sit there for course just shaking my head. Emily questions "where did you read that at?" Jake shrugs "On the internet." "Oh" Emily states straightface "You been visiting that site,huh, I make shit up.com." And laughter ensues on for all. This my dear friends is how the phrase was coined. A year later, we are still using this phrase for all the outlandish nonsense my husband (which is a lot) and anyone else creates. In truth, I have to be careful now to not say this when I hear someone say something stupid or absurd in public and as a nurse it's difficult to not spout this question off to some of my crazy patients sometimes.

( My crazy husband Jake and our fur baby Jackson on our last snow day)

(Our witty best friend Emily in her most natural state)